Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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