Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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