the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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