everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
