$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Are my feet made of real feet?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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