Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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