Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
