Don't you send me to vm
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
