Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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