He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
