i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
