You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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