He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
