Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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