come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
