Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you had me at cake vodka
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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