He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
