How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All the doctor said was why
Randomize