I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
