Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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