someone threw a dead crab at me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize