giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
