Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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