How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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