How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
