Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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