i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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