What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
