I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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