Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
