My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
