Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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