Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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