Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
