I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
