All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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