Plan B is the new Plan A
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You don't make any sense
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