Already got asked if we're dating
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
