just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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