is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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