She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
