I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
