I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
