What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
