What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
