went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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