At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
