God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
