Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
