smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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