It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
