Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
