You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
