I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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