She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
