4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
