Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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