Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
