I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I party with great urgency now.
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