hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Alive.
So much puke
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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