I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
BRING THE BAGELS
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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