But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
