I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
