And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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