then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
